My Hockey Family

Another hockey season is upon us. I am so happy to be back at the rink. There is something about the feel of the rink, the smell of the ice and the magic in the air. The first few weeks of the hockey season are the best. It is a time of reconnecting with hockey friends and watching the kids running around the rink excited to be back with their friends. Hockey has been a part of my life ever since I can remember. Some of my best memories are those involving hockey. My dad took me to almost every rink in the Twin Cities metro area when I was a kid. He was a huge fan of high school and college hockey and I was more than happy to tag along with him. Even then I loved being at the rink. The week of the state high school hockey tournament was my second favorite time of year after Christmas. Our extended family gathered at our house to stay in between games. My dad and uncle Harris would argue over the teams. Harris usually picked one of the northern schools and dad would pick one of the private schools. (I think he did that just to get under Harris' skin) My cousin Dave came from Chicago every year and stayed with us. When Jim turned 5 I was very pleased when he said he wanted to play hockey. My boys were hooked. Jeffrey was practically born at the rink. He was less than a week old when he went to the rink for the first time. There is a comradery among hockey parents that I don't think is matched. I guess when you spend that much time with people you become close. For anyone ever involved with hockey, they understand the relationships developed. I have been a part of many different teams over the years. However, there was no team in the course of the last 12 years in youth hockey that has come close to the team of last year.

One year ago right now Kyle was just finishing try-outs for his last year of squirts and I was coming to the end of my chemo treatments. I would be facing surgery in the next few months and had begun stressing about it. The blessing came with the team that Kyle was placed on. Most of the boys he had played with the season prior. Most of us knew each other and there was definitely a bond that had formed. (We were missing a few that we truly missed) As I am approaching my first year of survivorship I think back of fondness over the love I felt, the fun we had and the strong sense of family. My hockey family supported me in a very subtle way. I mean that because we laughed and watched our boys play games. I didn't have to talk about cancer all of the time around them. I was never labeled as "the mom with cancer". I was just one of the girls. That was such a relief. For at least those hockey days I didn't have cancer, I was normal. However, if I had needed to, I know that those moms would have listened in a heart beat and I am also sure that we would have found something to laugh about. (I do recall a certain incident at the breast cancer fundraiser involving two of the moms and a breast! I can't let this be forgotten.) The weekend before my surgery, Kyle had an out of town tournament in Northfield. It turned out to be the one thing I needed. It was a great opportunity for me to forget about what was happening in a few days. We laughted a lot and watched some good hockey games.

The thing about family is that they are there for you whether you ask for it or not. As I have said before, I don't like to call attention to myself. On the Monday night before my surgery, Kyle had a game. At the game I stopped to talk to Debbie, one of the moms, as I needed her help to get the boys to school on the day of surgery. She was the only one I had told what I was doing in two days. She did what I didn't know I needed her to do. She told the team what was happening. While I was resting in my hospital room a plant arrived from the team. Incidentally, I haven't killed it yet!! When I got home there was food and gift cards bought by the team. However, the most significant gesture was when I returned the following Wed. for a game, the boys had put pink tape on their sticks in my honor.

At our end of the year party, I had wanted to get up and thank the team for their support over the course of the season. Of course, I couldn't do it. I couldn't stand up in front of everyone and start blubbering and ruining a perfectly good time. But, I did say it to a few of the girls. And, to my astonishment, they told me that I had been an inspiration to them and to the boys. Huh???!!!! Despite all that I was going through, the boys saw me coming to each game and cheering them on. Huh????!!!! You are kidding me!!! I hate to break it to everyone but it was purely selfish. Despite how tired I was feeling I needed to be there to laugh and watch our team play.

At the end of the season and the beginning of this one we all knew and know that we probably won't all be together again until high school. I am just grateful that I had my hockey family there with me cheering for our boys and also cheering for me. It's easier to face a challenge, whether it be a hockey game or a war with cancer when you have your team behind you. Thanks girls!!!!